Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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