dude i'm inner monologue high
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
