I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
