I hate all girls vehemently.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
