Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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