oh god the rape fog is back!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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