This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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