playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
