I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
