'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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