I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
