okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
