is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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