you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
