i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
