hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
