Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
