Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
