Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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