He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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