On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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