Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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