Dual....:-)
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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