he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
