walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
