New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
