I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
