Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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