I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
