that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
