Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I want to fling myself into the sun
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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