Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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