Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
