Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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