you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
