the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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