Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she told me i tasted like america
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
