well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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