He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
