Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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