This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize