I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
