No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
