So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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