What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
