his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
