By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
