Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
