Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
