I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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