Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
