You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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