Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
