Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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