By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
