How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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