no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
