Screwed.edu
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
