Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
