I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
