operation harelip BJ is a go
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
