so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
True strength comes from lack of pants
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
