you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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