Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize